ive been feeling like crap
taking days off work
(shit, cuz im not sure if you know but paramedics in BC arent exactly independently wealthy see: www.saveourparamedics.com )
have i got THE SWINE?
i dont think so
do i feel like the stuff swines are synonymous with - what is that now...?!
SHIT!?
...absof*ckinglutely
so while wallowing in my snottiness
i decided a steam shower might just make me feel better
if not, at least LOOK better
when i emerged from my steam - feeling somewhat less phlegmy and definitely less icky - i saw that i had missed a phone call.
well, low and behold it was my beloved mother
a wee pang (and PLEASE let me emphasize WEE) befell me
i thought, damn she finally called...
and now she is going to think that im not taking her calls
i mean, im all for making a point, but if she is willing to call and apologize
ive got to give her a chance
BAHAHAHAAA...!
seriously - WHAT. THE. FUCK. is the matter with me?
its okay though, she left a message
now prepare yourself for a big ole dose of warm and fuzzy
cuz here it is, verbatim:
(i shit you not)
"hi kelley its your mommy calling
just call ...must've gotten her script messed up...
i understand you are very angry with me
but i want to make sure that everything is okay
and just want to let you know that i love you
when you are done being angry, please give me a call
bye for now"
am i losing my mind~!?
is THIS what an apology sounds like?
im not sure - see ive never had one from my mother before
you know what though ~ im actually glad she called
why, you ask?
well, i hadnt posted in sooooo long!
*wink*
Friday, October 23, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
the streak has come to a projectile end
8 years
thats how long it was...
yep
8 years since the last time i vomited ~
a.k.a.: threw up,
blew chunks,
puked,
barfed,
prayed to the porcelain god,
hurled,
technicolour yawned,
ralphed,
tossed my cookies,
spewed,
yacked...
i think you get the picture
but the vomit-free streak is over
and came to an impressive and projectile end
time of death: 23:58h ~ October 1, 2009
can i just say? "oh. my. fucking. god"
now why, why exactly would i have some ridiculous and romantic notion of what pregnancy puking would be like, but delusional as i tend to be...
i was sorrily SORRILY mistaken
note to self:
must seriously rethink the location of my seat in each of my UVic classes
it was awful,
without warning
(unless 8+ weeks of nausea is considered warning);
projectile (as mentioned earlier);
and violent.
...and i couldnt be happier
thats how long it was...
yep
8 years since the last time i vomited ~
a.k.a.: threw up,
blew chunks,
puked,
barfed,
prayed to the porcelain god,
hurled,
technicolour yawned,
ralphed,
tossed my cookies,
spewed,
yacked...
i think you get the picture
but the vomit-free streak is over
and came to an impressive and projectile end
time of death: 23:58h ~ October 1, 2009
can i just say? "oh. my. fucking. god"
now why, why exactly would i have some ridiculous and romantic notion of what pregnancy puking would be like, but delusional as i tend to be...
i was sorrily SORRILY mistaken
note to self:
must seriously rethink the location of my seat in each of my UVic classes
it was awful,
without warning
(unless 8+ weeks of nausea is considered warning);
projectile (as mentioned earlier);
and violent.
...and i couldnt be happier
Thursday, October 1, 2009
we're sorry, this call cannot be completed as dialed...
hard to believe
but she shocked me again
i found out that not only did she tell my brother and sister-in-law
(see previous post)
but she also told:
my niece, age 12
my nephew, barely 4
~ and both without consent from their parents
AND while i was hardly 6 weeks pregnant
now if that wasnt enough...
she attended a BABY shower for the lovely wife of one of my friends and,
talk about a new level of inappropriate,
she announced HER news there as well
and since then
has been spreading the news like a big ole f*cking out-of-control wild fire,
all over my hometown
i have nobody left to tell
no announcement to make
she told everybody - all my relatives (beyond those mentioned)
basically EVERYBODY with ears
aaaaand she also did all of this BEFORE our FIRST ultrasound.
plus there is THIS too:
she told everybody that we are having twins ~ W.T.F.?
all of this aforementioned pleasantry i found out
on the same day we had our ultrasound
i cant believe that she could actually take away from the joy of that day
but she did
she put her own little stink on it
and i dont need her stinking up anymore good days
so for the past 2+ weeks my mother has been calling
and coincidentally i am always unavailable to pick up, imagine?!
and y'know, im not sure when ill be picking up either,
but i do know that its not gonna happen any time soon
btw... she just called again,
and actually mentioned that im not returning her calls
holy shit lady - you are an insightful one
so needlesstosay she hasnt even heard the results of our ultrasound,
thats how long ive been screening her calls
thats how long ive been stewing about this
she thinks she knows everything
she thinks she has enough information to share with the world
well then i guess she doesnt need me
and thats JUST fine
now i digress, but once again the decision to move to the farthest point
on the opposite side of the country
is oh soooooo very clear
if i didnt believe so strongly in karma
id tell her:
"there is NO baby or BABIES
there was no heartbeat
its over
thanks for the support
go spread that news now, you asshole"
but i wont
instead my husband says he's going to answer the phone
some day
when im not here
and let her know what he thinks
...gawd, i love him
but she shocked me again
i found out that not only did she tell my brother and sister-in-law
(see previous post)
but she also told:
my niece, age 12
my nephew, barely 4
~ and both without consent from their parents
AND while i was hardly 6 weeks pregnant
now if that wasnt enough...
she attended a BABY shower for the lovely wife of one of my friends and,
talk about a new level of inappropriate,
she announced HER news there as well
and since then
has been spreading the news like a big ole f*cking out-of-control wild fire,
all over my hometown
i have nobody left to tell
no announcement to make
she told everybody - all my relatives (beyond those mentioned)
basically EVERYBODY with ears
aaaaand she also did all of this BEFORE our FIRST ultrasound.
plus there is THIS too:
she told everybody that we are having twins ~ W.T.F.?
all of this aforementioned pleasantry i found out
on the same day we had our ultrasound
i cant believe that she could actually take away from the joy of that day
but she did
she put her own little stink on it
and i dont need her stinking up anymore good days
so for the past 2+ weeks my mother has been calling
and coincidentally i am always unavailable to pick up, imagine?!
and y'know, im not sure when ill be picking up either,
but i do know that its not gonna happen any time soon
btw... she just called again,
and actually mentioned that im not returning her calls
holy shit lady - you are an insightful one
so needlesstosay she hasnt even heard the results of our ultrasound,
thats how long ive been screening her calls
thats how long ive been stewing about this
she thinks she knows everything
she thinks she has enough information to share with the world
well then i guess she doesnt need me
and thats JUST fine
now i digress, but once again the decision to move to the farthest point
on the opposite side of the country
is oh soooooo very clear
if i didnt believe so strongly in karma
id tell her:
"there is NO baby or BABIES
there was no heartbeat
its over
thanks for the support
go spread that news now, you asshole"
but i wont
instead my husband says he's going to answer the phone
some day
when im not here
and let her know what he thinks
...gawd, i love him
